Grace isn’t free, it always comes at a cost.
Over the past twenty years, I’ve worked for, attended, or been closely associated with nearly twenty Christian organizations: churches, K-12 Christian schools, Christian colleges and seminaries, and privately owned businesses.
One of the most pervasive issues I’ve encountered is the idea of faux grace. There are infinite ways faux grace is observed, but all of it prioritizes the status quo over the hard work to do real good in people’s lives. Rather than hold someone accountable for their actions, we’re told to have “grace” with them; by that, we ought to permit those people to continue their damaging behaviors.
Biblically speaking, grace is never permissive; it’s always invitational. So that we’re clear, here are the two definitions of grace:
Faux Grace: A superficial and permissive act that denies the impact of sin and fails to recognize the need for Jesus’ divine intervention in their lives.
True Grace: A redemptive act that invites someone to forsake their sin and embrace Jesus’ sovereign plan for their life.
Offering faux grace costs both the sinner and the grace-giver nothing, while true grace costs the sinner and grace-giver much. Let’s look at each a little closer.
Faux grace costs the grace-giver nothing. True grace costs the grace-giver much.
Faux grace allows the grace-giver to give something that costs them nothing, while true grace costs much of the grace-giver. It’s so costly, in fact, that Jesus gave his life.
Perhaps one reason we so readily offer faux grace is because it relieves us of coming alongside people in their sins and discipling them to maturity. When we offer faux grace, a relief of the consequences of sin without acknowledging the weight of sin (both on the sinner’s heart and the heart of those who may have been sinned against), it has no redemptive impact. It doesn’t invite the sinner to see their need for a savior. It doesn’t invite them to consider the path they’re on. Faux grace costs nothing to the grace-giver. In fact, the faux grace-giver may hope those around them will offer the same kind of “grace” to them in the future.
May we never be those who discount the true cost of grace.
“Above all, grace is costly, because it was costly to God, because it costs God the life of God’s Son… and because nothing can be cheap to us which is costly to God.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
True grace cost Jesus his life.
While it won’t cost us our lives, offering true grace does remain costly. In offering true grace, we must be willing to let go of an offense. You could have a legitimate grievance against someone, yet, in offering true grace, you lay down your right to hold that offense against them. In doing so, you sacrifice your demand for retribution, your expectation of vengeance, and even your longing to see justice done.
Remember, if we are in Christ, we are sinners who haven’t gotten what we deserve. If we are in Christ, there is a price to pay, but Jesus was the one who paid it. In offering us grace, God laid down his claim to hold our sin against us since Jesus now holds that claim. In exchange, we’ve been given Jesus’ righteousness. That exchange cost Jesus his life. And it’ll cost a lot of us, too. When we offer faux grace, it makes light of Jesus’ costly gift and fails to invite the sinner to much-needed repentance.
In offering true grace and inviting repentance (more on that to come), we must be willing to do the hard work of calling sinners to account. This, however, is not easy and can lead to rejection of the grace-giver if the sinner wants to avoid dealing with their sin. In these cases, there is a relational cost to the grace-giver. Jesus often experienced this as he shared the truth of people’s spiritual state, and he reminded us that we shouldn’t be surprised when we’re also treated with contempt for sharing the same message (John 15:18).
Faux grace costs the sinner nothing. True grace costs the sinner much.
Faux grace frees the sinner of any conviction of sin or recognition of damage to others, while true grace shows the depth of sin, finds healing in forgiveness, and leads to gratitude.
When we offer faux grace (to ourselves or others), we relieve ourselves of any responsibility and invite others to experience surface-level forgiveness. When we avoid sharing the impact of sin with others, it gives them a false sense of confidence and emboldens them in their sin. When we offer forgiveness without inviting repentance, there is little (felt) need for change. Yet, in this area, the Bible is clear on two things: 1) that those in Christ are called to live out their identity as a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17, Galatians 2:20) and 2) that grace doesn’t give license to sinners to continue sinning (Romans 6:1-2, Galatians 5:1). To the adulterous woman, Jesus said, “Go and sin no more” (John 8:1-11). True grace invites the sinner to repent.
Christ died so we would be freed from the burden of sin, and when we offer faux grace, which ignores the impact of sin, it shows the sinner there’s no need to live set apart. In fact, living life without consequences usually encourages us to continue acting in that way.
In college, I ran a red light and got caught by the camera. A roommate told me that if I didn’t get served a physical ticket, it didn’t count. So, I avoided the notices in the mail, one after the next. Then, one day, I quit getting notices of the fine. “Whew,” I thought, “it’s over!” I was wrong. The following week, my license was suspended until I paid the ticket and the additional reinstatement fee. There was a cost to running the red light. There was an even more significant cost to ignoring the ticket. I gave myself faux grace, and it cost me. A lot.
When we offer faux grace and, in turn, require nothing of those in error, we do no favors. Ultimately, we’ll have to pay the price, and it’ll likely be higher than if we had just dealt with the issue from the beginning.
True grace, on the other hand, costs the sinner much. True grace calls for repentance, a systematic review of one’s life.
True grace invites the sinner to consider their path and whether their life is heading where they want to go. True grace also places the sinner in debt to the one offering grace.
In The Count of Monte Cristo, after escaping from the island prison Château d’If, Edmond Dantes finds himself upon a band of pirates. On the threat of death, Dantes is forced into a knife fight and quickly defeats his opponent but, surprisingly, spares his life. After which, his opponent, Jacopo, says to him, “I swear… I am your man forever.” Jacopo knows his life has been spared (and recognizes his own fault in being in danger by being a mutineer) and responds to the grace given by giving his life in service to Dantes. He repented of his mutiny and became a man of fidelity. That’s what repentance is: it’s turning entirely around and going in the opposite direction. Jacopo received grace, and in gratitude, he gave his life in service to his master. (Note: watch the scene here)
When we receive true grace, we, like Jacopo, should feel like we’ve just cheated death. Our sins are forgiven, and we’re filled with gratitude. When we experience faux grace, we may feel relief, but we can’t feel grateful for the freedom of being redeemed.
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